Sunday, April 12, 2009

Teenagers can be so mean!

Teenagers can be so mean! They are mean to their "friends", enemies, parents, siblings, grandparents, teachers and pretty much anyone else they may come in contact with. I am often amazed at how mean they can truly be. Girls it seem are slightly more cut-throat, although boys are often the meanest to family members or at least from what I have seen.
This comes from personal experience. I have witnessed teammates being very ugly to each other especially when winning isn't the case. (I have also witnessed it when winning was happening.) Recently, a Lady Cat was struggling while playing a softball game and Chelsea was shocked at the way her own teammate talked to the struggling player after a ballgame. She came home very upset for her. Chelsea has been on the end of the wrath catching of her teammates in the past and I guess she felt really sorry for someone who is really not one of her friends, more so just a teammate.
I have tried to preach to both of my children how badly words can cut someone to the bone and I guess Chelsea realized it when she saw how hurt and upset the young lady on the receiving end was. I think teenagers get so wrapped up in their own little world that they forget that there are other people and other people's feelings that they should consider. If I had a nickel for every time my own children have hurt each other, my parents or me, I would be one wealthy soul! Chance, who thinks he's grown (and in most people's eyes, probably is grown) doesn't think he should have to answer to anyone. He thinks that when I call to say hi and see what he is doing, I'm meddling and usually ends up yelling his responses at me instead of talking to me. When I tell him there is no reason to yell, he claims he's not. He acts like I am such a bother to him at that very moment. I honestly am not being nosey. I just want to be a part of his life and make sure he's ok. I want to know when he's happy, make him better if he's sad, etc. but...I know most of you say it's your money that's sending him to school, blah, blah, blah. Have you walked in my shoes as a mother? It isn't easy!
Chelsea, on the other hand, can be so caring at times and then....I think she is more like me than Chance is. Guess that's why she can get to me! EEEWWW! I get so mad at her. She doesn't usually say anything but those looks she gives!!!! I know what she's thinking and that makes me just as angry with her. I have heard the way that she talks to or about other people, yes, my children are not perfect (neither am I), and her words can be very harsh. I try that speech about put yourself in their shoes, etc.. but just as adults, I think if you've heard it once, you've heard it a million times and often it doesn't sink in until you have burned bridges you can't ever rebuild no matter how hard you try or how badly you want to.
I know Chelsea will read this blog and I am hoping Chance will too. If they do I hope they get this far into the post. I would like for this to be a reminder to them both that words and actions hurt. I want them to know that no one, including mom, (which I know won't come as a surprise to them) is perfect. I know my words hurt too. I want them to know that my constant "in your business" action is not to annoy them, not because I don't trust them, but rather because I love them! I want others to know what wonderful young adults they are and can be. I want them to realize that sometimes, even if forgiven, hurtful things can't be forgotten especially if the person they are ugly to cares about them. Often people judge you the harshest by how you treat those you are suppose to care about and who care about you. Actions and words can cut to the bone, just remember that! And also remember that even if I may not like your actions sometimes, I will always love you!


Deb ;) said...

Wow! How true all of your words are. I have walked in your shoes, and I know how hard it is to be treated like you are a "second-class citizen" when all you want is to know that your children are okay. You do have amazing children, and they have an amazing mom!

honeyma said...

You are certainly right. Having raised 4 kids and been close to all 7 grandkids, I've experienced and watched my kids experience difficulties. The hardest thing a child can go thru is "growing up". Patience is the key to coping. Mine have all grown up to be very respectful of me, even tho there were times when I thought they hated me. "Bring up a child in the way he should go..................."